Two Truths

Sometimes it seems that things are moving at a fast pace. For instance, back in the summer I bought a Blackberry, and since then several new models have come out, making mine seem just a little out of date. Yet with all the progress we make, all the technological advances, we’re still very much the same people. We are people who often yearn for love, wrestle with fear, and lash out as we try to maintain a place of higher importance over the people around us.

But now we are being called, called to a new understanding, a new thought.

You are meant for more. You are meant to learn lessons and take wisdom from the past as well as to learn from what you have experienced in your personal history, and then to push unstoppably forward. You can learn and walk forward into new understandings, new wisdom, new truth. What is this new understanding, this new wisdom, this new truth? There are two of them in particular to focus on at the moment. Let's start with the second.

The second truth is something that we are being called to realize and to take part in. This truth is like a little child standing at the edge of a majestic forest, looking over her shoulder and reaching her arm back towards us. She waits for us to take hold of her hand and to walk. This truth is that we are one people, that one by one boundaries are being torn down. They crash to the ground as we focus on our commonalities with our fellow humanity, rather than on the ways in which we differ. Even more, those differences which once were obstacles to our unity, now they are opportunities to learn. As we realize this truth more fully, the more we shake our heads at the images that we see on TV, images of people living even side-side who are killing one another. Gaza and Afghanistan come to mind. Don’t misunderstand me, these are life-altering and tragic conflicts for those directly involved. But as we more fully realize the truth of our unity, these conflicts, or at least the reasons for them, seem to grow smaller and smaller.

Of course this truth is something we can not walk into unless we learn the one that comes before it. And that is that a key part of the answer to one of the biggest questions of life – the meaning of life - is much closer than we may have previously realized.

Who is it that we are to worship? Who will give us the answer? What are we to do to be acceptable to God?

These questions, and the anxiety that they produce, lose so very much of their importance and grip on our lives when we realize that the reason for living is to live.

While we are all connected as part of existence, we are each unique. There is no one like you. That is a good thing.

You are a good thing.

Isn’t it time, my friend, to lay down your arms that you’ve had aimed at yourself and your seemingly outlandish, lofty dreams, and instead crack the door open to the notion that you are an irreplaceable part of life, a gift. You contain a perspective and wisdom within you that needs to break out into the world, into life. Keep being curious, keep acquiring knowledge that will help you to understand life, but be sure to use your own voice and realize that you aren’t meant to be a copy of anyone who has ever lived.

I pray joy for your journey today as you continue to discover and to step forward into your own new truth.

Before, When I Had A Saviour

Toronto, Ontario

The other night I had one of those moments. You know, one of those. The kind of moment that shakes your soul from its slumber like a bear in a wintry forest shakes the snow from its fur. One of those moments that says, “Come back to life,” and inspires you to rise above the dreariness that can so easily cloud your day. What does it for you? Maybe it’s sharing a good conversation with a friend while sipping on a cup of hot cocoa. Maybe it’s an unexpected warm smile on the face of a stranger as you pass them by in the mall. For me, on this occasion, it was a song.

I was walking to work listening to music and the song “The Roar of Love” came on. It’s part of a 1980 concept album of the same name and is based on The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. The performing group is The 2nd Chapter of Acts, an old Christian group. I’ve loved Narnia for a long time. This particular song speaks of the moment when Lucy and Susan see Aslan alive again after they had watched him being killed by the evil White Witch. Overjoyed, they embrace the great lion and then jump on his back and they all ride off through the forest. The song brings to me a deep feeling of happiness.

Of course if you’re familiar with Narnia you’ll recognize that Aslan is Jesus, the Lion is the Saviour of that magical world. So while the song brings to me happiness, it also makes me nostalgic, well as nostalgic as a relatively young man can be. And this is because I remember back to when I too had a Saviour.

I had known about him from as far back as I can remember, decided to have a closer friendship with him when I was still a little boy, and said a long goodbye to him about 6 years ago.

This time of the year you hear about Jesus more than at any time of the year. Of course this is decreasing as years pass, with the increasing religious (and non-religious) pluralism, and Holiday trees replacing Christmas trees, but you still see Jesus in nativity scenes in front of churches, and you still hear about him in the old carols.

The idea of having someone come alongside you to be your Saviour is an appealing one, particularly when you’re facing some difficult challenge. You can reach out for help, and they are there to lift you out of your situation, or at least help lighten the burden.

But eventually I had to say goodbye to my Saviour. You see, when you spend so much time reaching out for a Saviour, you can forget what it’s like to look inside yourself. You forget, that is if you ever knew it in the first place, that you have the power inside of you to rise above every situation that comes to you. When you call out to your Saviour, I think something else can happen. At the same time that you’re calling out, that power within you that is waiting to rise up goes back to sleep, now that you’ve given the job to someone else.

As I write this, I want to say that I recognize and deeply understand that this works for many many people. Many who call on Jesus in this way are sincerely happy and fulfilled.

But for me, I couldn’t keep my friendship with my outside Saviour.

However, this does not mean that Jesus means absolutely nothing to me now. I still listen to the traditional carols and I still make it out to a service every Christmas Eve. But it can be even more than that. You can read the Christmas story and you can see Christmas in a new light. For me, rather than seeing Jesus as someone who was born into the world to die for our sins and therefore make us acceptable to God, I see Jesus as an example. In my mind there is a place for Jesus as an example that divinity and humanity need not be separate. Here is an example of someone who realized the power within him, and with that knowledge he did powerful things.

Whatever your beliefs are this December, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. May you have moments in the coming days that help you realize much joy and peace.

Right now, right here, there is nothing wrong. I love the fall. I love the smell of it, I love the colours. And now that the leaves have made their predictable descent to the ground, I love the stoic trees who seem to say "We're not going anywhere, we're staying right here as always, and we'll look pretty again next year." I love the whole feel of the fall. Today, the chill in the air cuts through the drowsiness and weariness of life and nudges me and says "You're alive, enjoy it, and breathe deeply." And Christmas is still coming...

Of Hope, Fear, & Being Wounded - Election Day Thoughts

It couldn’t be a more beautiful autumn day, this Tuesday, November 04, 2008, or a more exciting one. I’ve been closely following this presidential race since it began, and the day is finally - finally! - here. I actually took the day off of work for the occasion and woke up at 8:30 a.m, which is a miracle of almost biblical proportions upon a quick survey of my sleeping patterns. I got up, watched some election coverage, then walked the tree-lined path to Uptown Waterloo, where I sat outside eating breakfast and reading the paper.

Now I’m at Starbucks, enjoying an anniversary blend, and have been in my musical glory, as over the music system some of my favourite singers have been playing. There’s been “You’re Getting To Be A Habit With Me,” by Sinatra, “Come Rain or Come Shine,” by Billie Holiday, as well as songs by Nina Simone and Johnny Hartman.

As has been the case during the campaign, on this election day I am thinking about the themes of hope and fear.

After the attacks of September 11, 2001, the American leadership went on the offensive, sending their formidable military to Afghanistan, and then, in error, to Iraq. This wasn’t a surprise. After all, if someone came into my house and attacked my family, my initial reaction would probably be to take measures to ensure they didn’t do it again. But would it change my outlook on life, change the kind of person that I am? Would I become a hostile person, so enraged by being wounded that I would cast aside hope and optimism?

After 9/11, it seemed that under George W. Bush and his administration, America became known as the attackers, the aggressors, which in turn dimmed the image of the shining city on a hill, the example for the rest of the world to look for inspiration. The policy of pre-emptive military strikes arose, and the president labeled countries which he had disagreements with as members of an “axis of evil.” The American government has acted without the support of the United Nations – which I admit seems quite impotent – but still it wreaks of the position that the country will do what it pleases and that it doesn’t have much interest in what other nations think. America has been on the offensive.

But let’s talk about being defensive for a moment. On 9/11 America as a nation was deeply wounded. It went on the attack, but it also hunkered down and bolstered homeland security. I realize this is necessary because when someone, or in this case a country, is wounded, you want to examine the reasons for it and try to avoid being hurt again in the same way in the future. But when building walls and preventing vulnerabilities becomes a primary focus, something else can take place. Hopes for the future and commitment to the dreams that an individual or a nation has cherished, they are smothered by defensiveness and fear. Perhaps this is something that has happened south of the border.

When thinking of individual pain, I think that people can be hurt deeply and then they can shut down. They close the windows, and even board them up with wood and nails. Having dreams and being a positive person, though, requires, I think, an opening up and a certain vulnerability.

So what’s the trick? I don’t think any person or nation should be a doormat to be trampled on, but if we are wounded I think we should try our best to do a couple of things. The first one is really hard: Let It Go. To do this we have to realize that things that happen to you or that are inflicted on you, they may hurt like hell, but they do not define you. You have always been a wonderful and unique person, and you are still. Then we must Move On and keep dreaming. Easier said than done, I know. It requires things like boldness, strength, belief in yourself.

Going back to the election, I will admit that I hope that Barack Obama wins tonight. One of the things that has inspired me about him has been his call for national unity, especially earlier in the campaign. It’s a hopeful message of bringing people together. Republicans, Democrats, whites, blacks, straight and gay people. Hope affords the bringing together of people with widely diverse opinions and backgrounds. Fear, though, makes us suspicious of people who are seemingly different than us.

I anxiously await for the results to come pouring in tonight. For now, though, I’ll finish up my coffee and pumpkin scone here at Starbucks.

Daniel Nahmod - Water

Last Sunday at Unity we were privileged to have several guest musicians with us, one of whom was Daniel Nahmod. Daniel is a California-based singer/songwriter who has put out several albums. I had been looking forward to seeing him since we had been singing some of his songs on Sunday mornings. His performances during the morning as well as evening services were great, and afterward I picked up one of his more recent albums, from 2006, called Water. Here is a run-down of a few of the songs on the album, with a few lyrics and then a few thoughts.

2) If The Race Is Over - What do I do if I'm not chasing anything? What do I do if I've got everything that I need?...Where do I go if I'm right where I'm s'posed to be?

What if the race is over, and we all automatically win? What if the game is ended, long before it even begins? What if the test has been taken, and we're all passing again and again? If the race is over...what then?

This is just the first of several songs on the album that goes right into my soul. I think a lot of us spend a whole lot of time trying to be "better" people, perhaps so we'll be viewed more positively or with admiration from other people. But this also applies to God. Many of us grow up with the belief that there is some sort of test that we have to pass in order to be acceptable to God. We think that naturally, on our own, we are intrinsically flawed somehow and so the straining and the striving begins, trying to become the kind of person we think God wants us to be so we'll be acceptable. We run the race, but unfortunately it never seems to end. Yes, there are improvements that we all need to make and there is growth that happens. But what if we aren't at a disadvantage from the very start? How would that viewpoint change our daily actions? I think it could go a long way to dissolving guilt and feelings of inferiority. What if, rather than flawed sinners, we viewed ourselves as beautiful at the core, how would that change our experience in day-to-day life?

7) To Be Free - I have made a decision about my life/It may be a strange surprise to some/I have always thought I wanted what so many want/But it's to a different conclusion that I've come...

Oh, I need...to be free/I will go where the wind will carry me/To be free, oh to be free.

You won't see me playing any kind of lottery/You won't catch me wishing on a falling star/You will find me wherever I am called to be/Wherever kindness and beauty are/For I think of all mankind as my family/This entire precious planet is my home/So let others build their borders, walls, and boundaries/I will fly above them all, even if I must go alone

Where to start on this one? One thing that comes to mind is, well, as previously stated, that we try to change ourselves in order to impress people. But even moreso, I think that we often try to take on another person's solution for our own. Maybe we see someone who seems to be very successful at life, and we try to mimic them, hoping that the things that make them successful will also work for us. This works for some things, I'm sure, but not all. When it comes to our soul, our spirit, I think that each of us has a unique path to travel. We are each born into the world, and we come as discoverers, sent to break new ground. Unfortunately we spend much of our time trying to walk in someone else's path and we fail to realize that we can walk our own. No path is truly satisfying unless it is uniquely our own. Indeed there can be many similarities with others. We can get together with other like-minded people, and attend church services with those of similar beliefs - I currently attend a place called Unity, and one of the things I like about it is that each and ever Sunday the minister states that there is no right and perfect path, not even Unity - but still, we all must find our own way.

We each have a path to walk, and don't be surprised if it has a lot to do with our dreams. I think that most people have dreams, but we think that they are too unrealistic or that they are unachievable. But it could just be that the dreams we have are supposed to determine the path we walk.

Or something like that...it's late and I have beer.

9) Empty - Nothing to say, nowhere to go, nothing to do/I have no promises to make, no-one to know, nothing to prove/It's a strange sort of existence, but somehow it seems so true/The only thing I really know/Is that I don't know a thing/The only sound that I hear now/Is the silence when I sing...

I'd be perfectly fine/If I stayed this way forever/Nothing on my mind/And I've never felt better.

What a strange idea, of being empty. What are we if not for our cluttered minds and the overwhelming amount of feelings that we feel as we go through life? What if there was nothing to say and nothing to do? We see a lot, come across a lot as we live and we pick things up until they become heavy. But what if, underneath everything, we're simply wonderful beings, standing there naked and with no need to impress (there are oh, so many jokes I could make right now!)

Um, anyways, I like the song.

10) Last Song - If this is my last song/If this is my final day/If tomorrow I'll be gone/What do I want to say/If this is my last song/If it's my time to go/When my body's moved on/What will I have to show...

Have I given hope to the hopeless, has a hungry soul been fed/Has a child stood a little bit taller 'cause of something that I said/Have I left a little kindness, have I eased a little pain/If so, then I'm glad I came.

I'm skipping the commentary on this one.

I'd HIGHLY recommend, if you have a few extra bucks for a CD, to order this one online. Daniel's voice reminds me a little of James Taylor, and the style of the album is folky.

His bio can be found here.

Coming To Terms With Past Beliefs

It's kind of like having an uncle that taught you how to fish, but he has some really harmful traits as well. If he's disrupting your life and causing harm to your well-being, you may have to distance yourself from him for your own good.

But it doesn't take away the fact that he taught you how to fish. What are you going to do now? Are you going to curse fishing even though you love doing it? No, you're going to keep fishing - just not with your uncle.

Growing up within fundamentalist Chistianity taught me how to be interested in spirituality, in matters of the soul (whatever that means..that sounds so deep!) I am thankful for that, and will take some of the things that I learned with me as I continue on my journey. Things like loving those who are different than you, being kind to those who are abandoned by society (I suck at these things a lot of the time.) I can look at Jesus again and ask "what was it about this man that caused people to associate the divine within him?"

For as long as I remain bitter about everything associated with Christianity, the longer that piece of my life will be left out in the cold. But it is part of who I am.

I have been lucky that there have been people in the last few years that have helped me to see that there are other lenses by which to see Christianity and the Bible other than fundamentalism or literalism. Thanks go to those who have encouraged me to think, or steered me to take a look at different viewpoints. I think of the prof in Bible college who directed me to a book called "God of the Possible" by Gregory Boyd, and more recently I've also appreciated the Unitarian church in town, and Unity, where I currently go on Sundays, often on very little sleep. Authors such as John Shelby Spong, Henri Nouwen, and Marcus Borg have been helpful to me as well.

The journey continues, with an acknowledgement of my fundamentalist past.

A Work In Progress

Things happen and you get to thinking “Maybe it’s not for me.” It’s for everyone else. First it’s for the class-mate in grade school who seems to have the perfect family with lots of money and hosts parties all of the time. Then it’s the guys and girls in high school who have all the popular friends, are on the basketball teams, and who end up in the King & Queens Court at the prom. And then a bit more time goes by, and then the ‘maybe’ turns into a ‘probably,’ as in ‘it’s probably not for me.’ What is the ‘it?’ ‘It’ is the good, happy life that you have always wanted to have but for one reason or another haven’t been able to walk into. But the truth is that you have the power. The lie that you’ve bought into is that you aren’t good enough on your own, that you lack what it takes to be happy, that you need something that you don’t already have inside of you. But you can do it. The only things you need are confidence and boldness, and they are things that you can choose to have right now, right at this very moment.

“But you don’t know what I’ve been through! You don’t know what my life has been like! You don’t know the things that I’ve done!”

STOP.

I’m not denying that you have seen much pain in your life, but it is time.

It is time to let it go.

All of it. Somewhere in life you have picked up a heavy rock, and you’ve carried it around for far too long. It’s time to leave the past where it belongs, in the past.

Whatever, I mean WHATEVER you have seen in your life, it is done. Now is the moment for you to live and to choose the kind of life you want to have today.

A good step forward is to re-connect with yourself. Things happen in life, and you lose touch with yourself, just like old college friends. You’ve lost touch with the truth, if you ever believed it in the first place, that you are a unique and wonderful person, a wonderful mish-mash of divinity and humanity. Start believing this, day in, day out, and eventually you’ll settle into this truth like your favourite pair of worn, holey blue jeans. You’ll accept yourself.

Believe that you have the power to do anything that you want to do.