Spirituality In The Middle Of A Busy Life

“Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, or by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.” ~ Meister Eckhart (1260-1327)

I like reading quotes from Meister Eckhart, the German theologian, philosopher and mystic.  And I think that he makes a great point here. Sometimes we can shoot ourselves for not having a mystic-like prayer-life, where we spend hour upon hour alone in a dark candle-lit room with the Divine Mystery.  Many spiritual teachers talk about the importance of spending time away from the world or running away from things. And sometimes this is necessary. Many of us go through times when we feel drawn away from people - even our close friends - or activities so that we may grow spiritually. This may take a long time. However, eventually we have to learn to have the inner solitude that Eckhart talks about, a solitude and an inner Divine peace "wherever or with whomsoever we may be."  When we are walking down the street or when we are sitting across the table having coffee with a friend, we can still focus on our hearts. For instance, currently I am sitting in a busy downtown coffee shop and still I can feel the inner aching for that Divine Mystery which calls me to itself. I need not be alone all of the time.  It may very well be in the crowded coffee shop or in the busy mall that God can be found.

Always be willing for divine surprises.

CHURCH SPOTLIGHT: Grand River Unitarian Congregation - Rev. Jessica P. Rodela

Today I had the privilege of sitting down with Reverend Jessica P. Rodela of Grand River Unitarian Congregation (formerly First Unitarian Congregation of Waterloo). We discussed a variety of topics such as:

• What is Unitarianism?
• How far back does Unitarianism go?
• What do Unitarians believe?
• Where does social justice fit into the Unitarian picture?
• Where do Unitarians stand on LGBTQ issues
• And much more!

My thanks to Jessica for taking the time to sit down for this interview, and to videographer Wes Austin. Below this video is a sermon on anti-LGBTQ bullying by Rev. Jessica, as well as pictures of the church.

Grand River Unitarian Congregation (formerly First Unitarian Congregation of Waterloo) meets @ 299 Sydney Street South in Kitchener, Ontario

The welcoming table when you walk through the front doors. The church newsletter as well as a wealth of pamphlets are available.

This window has been preserved from the original Unitarian meeting space on Allen St.

Main sanctuary @ Grand River Unitarian Congregation

Grand River Unitarian's Affirmation, which is affirmed each Sunday.

Downstairs meeting space (and a great place for after-service coffee-hour!)

GRAND RIVER UNITARIAN CONGREGATION

(formerly First Unitarian Congregation of Waterloo)

waterloo.unitarians.ca

299 Sydney Street South

Kitchener, Ontario

519-742-0432

SUNDAY SERVICES @ 10:30 a.m.

ALL AGES WELCOME

My View On Relationships: A Collaboration Of Two Individuals

The following is a quote by the Catholic writer Henri J.M. Nouwen. I will add my own thoughts afterwards:

"Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.

It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person we cause great suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible."

Three key things happened as I grew up which discoloured my view of relationships.

1. I grew up in a continuously verbally and emotionally abusive household mostly coming from my father.  This left me feeling poor and emotionally needy for many many years to come, and as far as relationships were concerned, I started to look for someone who would heal my deep wounds and make me feel all better.  Essentially though I didn't realize it at the time, I was looking for a therapist-type relationship that would make me happy. I remember being this way from as far back as early childhood. I was probably in the first grade and one of my friends was having a birthday party and a bunch of us decided to play a game of pretend.  Some chose to be the mother and the father. I chose to be the family dog, because I wanted a cute classmate of mine to "pet me," essentially, to take care of me.  This neediness is something that I have worked on with the help of therapists, etc, but it's still something that I work through to this day.  It is not anyone else's job to heal my pain and no one - no one - can completely fill my many needs.
2. I grew up in the evangelical church and the main thing that I was taught about marriage was that "two people became one."  I thought that something magical happened when two people had sex, that they ceased to be individuals, but instead became a sort of symbiotic entity.  I have long since come to see this as a complete lie. It sounds nice. Hell, it would make for great Hallmark cards, but marriage is not two individuals becoming one entity, but I believe it should be about two individuals who have enough in common that they want to come together, but still respect each others individuality.  Perhaps you've seen the chick-flick Runaway Bride. In it, Julia Robert's character Maggie Carpenter bolts from the altar several times before finally settling down with Richard Gere. But in the course of things she also finds her individuality and at the end of the movie her and Gere's character ride separate horses away from the ceremony together.  I'm not married, but I believe married couples or people in relationships should never forget that they are involved with a whole other individual and that individual must be respected and celebrated. This leads well into my final point.
3. Chick Flicks! I love them! Sit me down in front of the TV with a Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, or Sandra Bullock romantic comedy, give me some ice cream, and I'll be one happy camper.  But it would do myself, as well as many others well to remember that not all relationships are such fairytales. There are  times of strong disagreements, times of compromise, and a lot of communication is the key, especially before entering into a serious relationship.

In conclusion, I would just emphasize again that the driving force for a relationship should not be need. Yes, we are all needy to an extent, and that's ok, but if we expect another person to ease all our pain, the relationship will be burdened down and perhaps fall apart.  Also, mutual respect for one another's individuality is essential. We should not be envious when the person we are with takes up a hobby that we have no interest in; rather we should encourage them in it.  A relationship in a way is a front-row seat to the unfolding of another individual's life progress.  Finally, sometimes in relationships we come to painful times when we have fought the good fight and should no longer hold onto something that has long ago deteriorated and faded away.

I have lost many good relationships over the years, mostly out of my emotional health and my extreme need. I look forward to a day when I have learned my lessons enough to have a healthy relationship between two individuals.

Mark Andrew Alward

Many Christian Preachers Owe Their Jobs To Fear

The following is a sermon from Sunday, June 3rd, 2012 by Rev. Roger Ray of Community Christian Church in Springfield, Missouri.

When You Find Yourself In Hell, Stop And Look Around

"Instead of struggling against the force of confusion, we could meet it and relax. When we do that, we gradually discover that clarity is always there. In the middle of the worst scenario of the worst person in the world, in the middle of all the heavy dialogue with ourselves, open space is always there."

~ Pema Chodron, American Buddhist nun

If you're like me, you have experienced at least one period in your life where everything seems dark, or knocked out of place. You find yourself off-balance. Jobs end. Relationships fail. Things that had made sense all of your life no longer make sense. Or perhaps your emotions are dulled or they may even have sunk to a seemingly dangerous low.

During such times it is important to have the guidance of trusted friends or therapists, but it does us well to also look for the Teacher in such times.  What can we learn from this unwanted experience?  This is not a question that many of us in Western society stop to ask ourselves. We want gratification and happiness, and we want it now. Everything is instant in our culture. 24-hour stores, movies on demand. Hell, you can even order your groceries online and have them delivered to your door without ever stepping outside.

But what if these dark times in our lives are instead golden opportunities to learn something about ourselves?  What if, instead of running for the nearest exit from Hell, we stop and look around a bit, surveying this new surrounding?  I am not saying that this is easy; it isn't.  But often in our darkest times there are things that we can learn, and instead of coming out of these periods utterly defeated we can come out a more well-rounded person.

Let me speak personally for a moment. I have suffered from what many would call mental illness for most of my life. My latest diagnosis is chronic depression with episodes of major depression, bi-polar type two, and mixed anxiety disorder including obsessive compulsive disorder.  Through the years I have sought the counsel of pastors, friends and therapists; I have even been hospitalized briefly. I take a cocktail of medications each morning and each night.  However, I am increasingly learning new things about myself and about life. For many years I have felt a call, a "pull" if you will to become a quieter, more simple person. But instead of heeding that call, I have continued to try to do business as usual and to seek happiness at all costs.  But now, as I still live with what many would call depression, I am finding that it is a teaching tool. It is as if the depression is saying to me, "Learn from me. I have dulled your mind and emotions right now so that you will finally become the quieter, simpler person that I have wanted you to be all along."  This may fly in the face of some therapists and some religious teachers, but I am finding it immensely helpful.  This time of "depression" is helping me to slow down, to look at myself, to depend on God/The Divine more fully, something I have craved almost all my life.

So the next time you find yourself in a dark time, in a time of depression, I encourage you to yes, seek assistance (you don't have to go through this alone), but also stop and ask, "What can I learn from this difficult time in my life?"

Love and blessings,

Mark Andrew

Luka Magnotta & The Eaton Centre Shooting: The World Cries Out For An End To Violence

For those of you who have read a few of my other posts, you will find it no surprise that I have paid almost no attention to the horrific details in the news about Luka Magnotta, the man who killed and dismembered a Chinese student, or about the shooting in Toronto. I think it's a vicious cycle. We crave sensational stories, so the media puts a spotlight on them. The media puts a spotlight on sensational stories, and feeds our morbid curiosity.  In the face of this, I offer this quote by a Quaker woman:

The whole world cries out for an end to violence, for the healing of old wounds and for the sanctification of the violated earth. Children, men and women are caught up and washed away by floods of ages-old hatred and fear which must be staunched while the pain and suffering caused by that hatred and fear are assuaged.

But before we can heal others, we must first heal ourselves, and it is right that we should take the time to do that work properly, in faith and love...

Many among us carry soul-deep wounds, and those wounds also pain the corporate body. We need to recognize and accept our responsibility to heal each other, to hold others up in "trust, truth and total disarmament" so that we may all be upheld in love. Make no mistake. If we follow the call to heal ourselves, to heal the deep wounds that vitiate the strength of the spirit of our (communities), we will all be transformed.

~ Christine Lundy, 1995. 

 

 

Loving God & Hating The World: The Ultimate Contradiction

"I was early convinced in my mind that true religion consisted in an inward life, wherein the heart does love and reverence God the Creator, and learns to exercise true justice and goodness, not only toward all men, but also toward the brute creatures; that, as the mind was moved by an inward principle to love God as an invisible, incomprehensible Being, so by the same principle, it was moved to love him in all his manifestations in the visible world; that, as by his breath the flame of life was kindled in all animal sensible creatures, to say we love God as unseen, and at the same time exercise cruelty toward the least creature moving by his life, or by life derived from him, was a contradiction in itself."

~ John Woolman, 1740, Quaker preacher

After reading this 272-year-old quote, I can't help but agree that the spiritual life is about both contemplation and the "inward life," and it is also about putting love into action. John Woolman was a traveling Quaker minister who traveled throughout the American colonies and in England, advocating against cruelty to animals, economic injustices and oppression, conscription, military taxation, and particularly slavery and the slave trade. He speaks of an "inward principle" to love God. I feel this principle strongly today, choosing to spend a fair amount of time in solitude praying to God through journaling and feasting on spiritual truths through the writings of contemporaries and writers who have gone before me. I am convinced that we all need to find a way to spend time with God/The Divine/The Universe, whether it be through prayer, journaling, taking a long walk in the park. For me, journaling slows down my mind and my fears and concerns are swallowed up by the love of God.

At the same time as developing an inward spiritual life, Woolman writes that if we say we love God yet are cruel to the people and the world around us, we are hypocrites.  We have all seen such people. And perhaps at times in our lives we have been such people.  Sometimes, as the Scriptures say, we have to go into our closets and spend time with God. Sometimes we go through long periods where we have to be alone with only God for company. But when we are ready, we are called to move into the world to love everyone and everything around us with the love we feel in God.

Perhaps the best way to answer the question "How are you doing spiritually?" is by tallying how we have been treating those around us.

My encouragement to you today is to find some way, some path to commune with God on a regular basis. Perhaps that means formal prayers that we have learned in church, maybe it is writing or time in nature. It will make a world of difference when we meet our fellow humankind throughout the week.