Teen Sweethearts Were Both Born Opposite Sex

Arin Andrews, 16, & Katie Hill, 18

by Emily Nash
from The Sun (thesun.co.uk)

Pretty Katie Hill, 18, spent the first 15 years of her life as Luke, son of a Marine colonel.

And boyfriend Arin Andrews, 16, was born a girl called Emerald who excelled at ballet dancing and won beauty contests.

Both struggled with their sexuality all through their childhoods and were teased and bullied.

Katie always felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body while Arin thought the reverse. They met when both went to have gender-changing treatment in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and instantly fell in love.

Katie, who has developed breasts with female hormones, said: “We’re perfect for each other because we both had the same troubles growing up.

“We look so convincing as a boy and a girl nobody even notices now.”

Arin said he knew he was a boy inside on his first day at school when he felt confused at being told to line up with girls.

He said: “Girlie things didn’t interest me. I was called a lesbian growing up but I didn’t feel gay.”

Both sets of parents had trouble accepting their children’s situation but are now firmly behind them.

Which Charity Will You Support This Christmas?

It's early November, so that only can mean one thing: time to start thinking about Christmas!  And while buying gifts for loved ones is first and foremost on our minds, many people choose to pick a charity to support. Two of these charities include Samaritan's Purse and The Salvation Army.

1) Samaritan's Purse is an organization founded by Rev. Billy Graham's son Franklin, and each Christmas they run the wildly popular Operation Christmas Child, wherein participants fill thousands upon thousands of shoeboxes with age-appropriate gifts for children in impoverished countries around the world. It is estimated that the 100 millionth shoebox will be distributed this coming year, somewhere within the 130 countries they end up in. At a church I was attending until recently, they had taken part in this program for over a decade. Not anymore. The problem? Often, an evangelical Christian message goes out with these shoeboxes, rather than them being "good for goodness sakes."  According to the UK website of Operation Christmas Child: "We have never put Christian literature into shoeboxes before they are shipped, nor do we ever intend to do so." In the next breath they say "Yes, where appropriate we are pleased to be able to provide literature.  A local church or Christian partner distributing the shoeboxes may issue a free copy. of a Christian booklet, The Greatest Gift, which contains Bible stories, including an explanation of the true meaning of Christmas.  No-one is obliged to take this booklet."

If you're an evangelical Christian and you're OK with this, it's no problem; however, if you're not, you may want to be aware.

2) The Salvation Army.  We all know of the Salvation Army and the tireless work that they have done amongst the poor and needy for decades. They provide food hampers at Christmastime, run thrift stores, and provide other family and community services. Each Christmas we see Salvation Army volunteers manning donation kettles in our local malls.  However, if you're passionate about LGBT issues, you may find this interesting. While "the Salvation Army offers its services to all who are in need, regardless of sexual orientation," practising homosexuals are "ineligible for full membership" in The Salvation Army. Therefore, members who are attracted to the same sex should "embrace celibacy as a way of life" (something no doubt many straight married couples do already!)

The last decade has been spotted with a couple eye-popping stories when it comes to the Army and the LGBT community. In 2004, the Salvation Army threatened to close all its soup kitchens in the New York City area—which would have ended $250 million worth of contracts with the city—if they were forced to offer benefits to same-sex couples. This move would have lost the Salvation Army around $70 million in direct funding from the city and endangered the lives of several thousand people reliant on the Salvation Army. They said that, by offering benefits to same sex couples, they’d be supporting HIV/AIDS because HIV/AIDS is only the product of homosexual intercourse (um...wrong).  And this past June, Maj. Andrew Craibe, media relations director for Salvation Army Australia Southern Territory, found himself in the middle of a public-relations firestorm for comments he made on a gay-oriented Australian radio show. He was asked about the Salvation Army’s position on homosexuality and a section in its “Handbook of Doctrine” that cites a Biblical passage -- Romans 1:18-32 --  containing a condemnation of homosexuality. The passage mentions that in God’s eyes, “those who practice such things are deserving of death.” One of the radio hosts, Serena Ryan, expressed concern over the passage and asked, “How do you respond to that as part of your doctrine?” Craibe responded: “Well, that’s a part of our belief system. We have an alignment to the Scriptures that that’s our belief.”

Two days later, The Salvation Army put out an apology and explanation: "The Scripture in question, viewed in its broader context, is not referring to physical death, nor is it specifically targeted at homosexual behavior. The author is arguing that no human being is without sin, all sin leads to spiritual death (separation from God), and all people therefore need a Saviour.”

This is a tough call for me, because I have people very close to me who are very loving and do vital work in the community with the Salvation Army. As a Community Services Coordinator told me as I put together this article, "We are all equal. We wouldn't treat anyone differently. I don't know what that guy in Australia was thinking." They would not base their ministry on hate whatsoever. But as an LGBT activist, I feel the need to point these things out.

Who will you support this Christmastime?

Mark Andrew Alward

Bringing Your Vulnerable Self Home

The following is an excerpt by Catholic priest and author Henri Nouwen, from a collection of his journals entitled The Inner Voice of Love. While I personally would replace the name "Jesus" with something like "Love" or even "God," I keep Nouwen's words intact. He remains an integral spiritual leader of mine.

Live Patiently With The "Not Yet"
by Henri J.M. Nouwen - "The Inner Voice of Love"


“A part of you was left behind very early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want your self to be one. So you have to bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike – hospitable, gentle, and caring – so your anxious self can return and feel safe.

You complain that it is hard for you to pray, to experience the love of Jesus. But Jesus dwells in your fearful, never fully received self. When you befriend your true self and discover that it is good and beautiful, you will see Jesus there. Where you are most human, most yourself, weakest, there Jesus lives. Bringing your fearful self home is bringing Jesus home.

As long as your vulnerable self does not feel welcomed by you, it keeps so distant that it cannot show you its true beauty and wisdom. Thus, you survive without really living.

Try to keep your small, fearful self close to you. This is going to be a struggle, because you have to live for a while with the “not yet.” Your deepest, truest self is not yet home. It quickly gets scared. Since your intimate self does not feel safe with you, it continues to look for others, especially those who offer it some real, though temporary, consolation. But when you become more childlike, it will no longer feel the need to dwell elsewhere. It will begin to look to you as home.

Be patient. When you feel lonely, stay with your loneliness. Avoid the temptation to let your fearful self run off. Let it teach you its wisdom; let it tell you that you can live instead of just surviving. Gradually you will become one, and you will find that Jesus is living in your heart and offering you all you need.”

Hold Me Together: A Poem

Hold me together until your kingdom comes,
In and around me.
Today I feel broken, fragmented,
And I don't see the path ahead.
There is nothing I can hang on to,
No cavalry waiting to scoop me up.

To me, you are beyond any man, any book, 
Anything that any one has ever fully explained.
Still that does not make it hurt any less,
Here at this vacant café.

Sometimes it seems that you are dangling the carrot on a stick,
In front of me but never letting me taste.
Still I believe that the answers are out there, 
Or perhaps more accurately, in there.

Today I am not an advocate,
For anything or anyone.
I am just messed up, fucked up, and confused me.

Hold me together until your kingdom comes.

Mark Andrew Alward

Why I Am A Unitarian Universalist

Mark Andrew with the chalice, the Unitarian symbol

by Mark Andrew Alward

I have been a Unitarian for about 5 years, off and on. In the middle of that I belonged to another congregation called Unity, which I have fond memories of. For 22 some-odd years before these 2 places, I was an evangelical fundamentalist Christian. I could go on and on about this experience, but I’ve written a lot about that in the past, and have also preached a sermon about it (which can be found here).  But this morning during the service at my congregation – Grand River Unitarian Congregation in Kitchener, Ontario – I thought to myself, “I am really glad that I belong here.”

For starters, many reading this may ask, “Is Unitarianism a form of Christianity?” or “What is the history of Unitarianism?”  The answer to the first question is no. Unitarianism is a separate, liberal religion which stands outside Christianity (while it may include Christian members – more on that later). I say this with the caveat that Unitarianism initially came out of Christianity, with the belief that God was not a trinitarian God, but that God was "one." As for the second question, I am not an expert on the history of Unitarianism, only saying that it has roots in mid-16th Century Transylvania and Poland, but goes even further back. As far as North America is concerned, James Freeman began teaching Unitarian doctrine in Boston in 1784, where the Unitarian headquarters still are today. For a more thorough read, go visit the Canadian Unitarian Council's site, and the Unitarian Universalist Association site out of Boston.

For now I will tell you what I appreciate about being a Unitarian. The first thing that comes to mind is inclusion and diversity of belief.  Unitarianism has no official creed or dogma which a person must follow in order to be “in the good books” or to be “OK with God.”  Yet, there are many people within Unitarian congregations who see life through a Buddhist lens, or a Jewish lens, or a Christian lens.  More intriguingly, you will find many atheists and humanists in a Unitarian congregation. That sounds strange to some. “Why would an atheist be part of a religion? Why would they go to church?” Is Unitarianism a social club? I'll get to this later. Also, it is important to me that the LGBTQ community is fully welcome in our congregations.  On a Sunday morning you will find people who come from all sorts of religious or non-religious movements, denominations, and beliefs. Yet we've been drawn to this historic faith.

Since there is no creed or dogma within a Unitarian congregation, and because there are people of various beliefs or unbelief, you may ask, “What holds a congregation together?” To this I would say that a commitment to caring for one another and the earth is important. Another question may be, “Aren’t you just a social club if there isn’t a God you believe in?” My answer would be no, since Unitarianism has its roots in the Judeo-Christian tradition, we have our own rituals, and we come together regularly in community in a way that runs much deeper than just a club.

We also have our set of Principles & Sources. They are as follows:

We, the member congregations of the Canadian Unitarian Council, covenant to affirm and promote:

§  the inherent worth and dignity of every person;

§  justice, equity, and compassion in human relations;

§  acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

§  a free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

§  the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;

§  the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;

§  respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

The living tradition which we share draws from many sources:

§  direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;

§  words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;

§  wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;

§  Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbours as ourselves;

§  Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit;

§  spiritual teachings of Earth-centred traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

Grateful for the religious pluralism which enriches and ennobles our faith, we are inspired to deepen our understanding and expand our vision. As free congregations we enter into this covenant, promising to one another our mutual trust and support.

There is a high degree of value placed on intellectualism in Unitarianism. You don’t have to “check your brain at the door” and have blind faith.  While saying that, intellectualism isn't the main thing that draws me to my Unitarian community. Aside from inclusion and diversity, I value that I am not judged in any way and can be completely real. If I’ve had a great week I can come and celebrate that with people. If I've been having a shitty week, I can come and be honest about it and not be judged. In our congregation, we have a time called “Joys and Sorrows,” where people can come forward, light a candle in observance of a joy or sorrow, such as a birthday or perhaps a death in the family, and they can briefly share that joy or sorrow with the congregation. In this way we can better celebrate or care about them.

I also value the meditation time in our services, where our minister reads a short inspirational reflection, followed by the singing of a hymn called Spirit of Life, followed by a few moments of silence, then a musical meditation.  Here are the lyrics of Spirit of Life by Carolyn McDade:

Spirit of Life, come unto me.

Sing in my heart all the stirrings of compassion. 

Blow in the wind, rise in the sea; 

Move in the hand, giving life the shape of justice. 

Roots hold me close; wings set me free; 

Spirit of Life, come to me, come to me.

Now, you may be wondering, "What is there to meditate about if you don't believe in God or the Bible?" My answer is simple and yet important: Just because we may not believe in God, many in Unitarian congregations embrace spirituality, and some, even a divinity.  The big difference maker here...is mystery. Three of my favourite words when asked these days about my beliefs are "I don't know."  And that's OK at a Unitarian church. While many may have their own personal credos, others do not, and are, as Buddhist monk Pema Chodron would say "comfortable with uncertainty." For me, after most of my life thinking that I must have the "right" beliefs about God, it is a real relief to know that it's OK to not know all the answers. Actually, I find it baffling if any human thinks they have all the answers about God. Unitarians realize that change is an inevitable part of life, and we have changed in several ways since our foundations.

As far as what a Unitarian service looks like, that also varies depending on the congregation and on any given Sunday. There may be a theme for a few weeks, but perhaps not. There may be guest speakers, perhaps not. There are Unitarian ministers, who perform weddings, funerals, everything other ministers do. At our congregation we are incredibly blessed to have Rev. Jessica as our minister. Most weeks are about not just personal growth, but how we care about our religious community, our communities at large, and the world as a whole.

Well-known Unitarians have included: 

• Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Essayist, Lecturer, & Poet)
• James Luther Adams (American Professor, Most Influential Theologian among Unitarian Universalists in the 20th Century.
• Louisa May Alcott (American Novelist)
• Florence Nightingale (English Social Reformer/Founder of Modern Nursing)
• Beatrix Potter (Author)
• Thomas Jefferson (An American Founding Father, Principal Author of the Declaration of Independence, 3rd President of the United States)
• John Quincy Adams (6th President of the United States)
• Benjamin Franklin (Author/Scientist/A Founding Father Of America)
• Paul Revere (Patriot - American Revolution)
• Charles Dickens (English Novelist & Social Critic)
• T.S. Eliot (Publisher/Playwright)
• Henry David Thoreau (Author/Poet/Philosopher)
• Paul Newman (Actor/Philanthropist)
• Christopher Reeve (American Actor)
• Randy Pausch (Professor/Author "The Last Lecture")
• Robert Munsch (Canadian Children's Author) 

I'd like to leave this article with a link to the Canadian Unitarian Council's main site, and an affirmation we collectively read each Sunday.  

Love is the doctrine of this church,

The quest for truth is its sacrament,

And service is its prayer.

To dwell together in peace, 

To seek knowledge in freedom, 

To serve humanity in harmony with the earth, 

Thus do we covenant together. 

And finally, as Ferenc Dávid, a 16th-Century Transylvanian Unitarian preacher said, "We need not think alike to love alike."    

Focus On The Family & The LGBT Community: Can A Bridge Be Built?

The following are excerpts from two Huffington Post articles, the first from October 16th and a response from November 2nd:

1) "Focus on the Family, the former evangelical powerhouse of the Religious Right that was known for its vitriolic campaigns against gay rights, same-sex marriage and abortion -- its founder James Dobson once compared gay-marriage advocates to Hitler -- is taking a sharp turn away from culture war-style politics and widening its goals to include everything from immigration reform to decreasing poverty and increasing adoptions and foster care opportunities, its top leader said in an interview with The Huffington Post.

"It's fair to say we have concentrated on some things that have distracted from the main thing, which is the Gospel of Christ," said Jim Daly, the president and CEO of the Colorado Springs, Colo.-based organization and host of its "Focus on the Family" radio program, which reaches about 2 million people weekly across 1,000 stations.

Daly, who in a book that comes out Tuesday tells conservative evangelicals to be "careful to not create a 'super sin' out of homosexuality," said in the interview that he has worked behind the scenes to broaden the organization's appeal since taking the reins of its flagship radio show two and a half years ago from the outspoken Dobson. Daly likened the changes to a generational shift in priorities and style. In ReFocus: Living a Life that Reflects God's Heart, Daly writes that while he still believes homosexuality, same-sex marriage and abortion are sinful and immoral, Christian conservatives need to realize they "may not win many battles" and should "not [be] engaging to win" but to "reflect God's glory."

The softening may reflect a response to a shifting religious and political landscape in the U.S. Daly admitted that when it comes to gay rights and same-sex marriage, young Americans, including evangelicals, have increasingly said they support both. A Pew survey released last week showed that for the first time, less than half the nation is Protestant and one in five Americans has no religion. Among those who have no religion, who tend to be younger, the survey found that they believe churches are too concerned with money, power and politics. At the same time, those with no religion said churches play a positive role in caring for the poor.

"When you are in the culture of doing good deeds, taking care of the poor, taking care of the widow, the orphan, not as a means to something else but because this is what true religion should be doing, even the nonbeliever would say, 'Look at that," said Daly, 51. "There is a certain respect that comes from that."

Read More Of This Article @ Huffington Post

2) From Justin Lee - gaychristian.net

"Dear Jim,

You recently told The Huffington Post that you wanted to take Focus on the Family in a different direction -- away from making "a 'super-sin' out of homosexuality" and similar distractions from the good deeds that "true religion should be doing."

I'm thrilled to hear that. I truly am. See, I'm a passionate evangelical who grew up with Focus on the Family. You could say that I was one of your biggest fans. I wrote a piece for Breakaway, your magazine for boys; owned many tapes of Adventures in Odyssey, your radio drama series; and learned about puberty from Focus founder James Dobson's book Preparing for Adolescence.

But there was one thing that none of that prepared me for. When I hit puberty, I didn't develop attractions for girls like my friends did. My attractions were for guys.

For years, I refused to call myself "gay." ("I'm not gay; I'm a Christian!") I'd heard Dr. Dobson talk about sexual confusion in adolescence, so I assumed this was just a phase I had to wait out. Over time, I prayed more and more fervently for God's intervention. It got to the point that I was crying myself to sleep, night after night, begging for God to take away my same-sex attractions and give me opposite-sex ones.

My attractions never changed. God didn't change them. My faith didn't change them. Prayer didn't change them. Nor did therapy, time, or dating girls. Focus on the Family sent me materials about "ex-gay" ministries. Those didn't change my feelings either.

Through all of this, I remained celibate. I kept believing I would become straight someday, if I just kept trusting God. Eventually, though, I had to face the fact that it might not, and that even if I never dated or had sex or kissed anyone, I would always be, well, gay.

And that one realization is what changed my whole life.

Because, you see, the message that my pastors and parents and Christian friends were getting from Focus on the Family was that gay people chose to be gay -- or that, at the very least, we'd been exposed to some kind of abuse or trauma that had made us gay -- and that if we wanted to become straight, it was just a matter of trusting Jesus. By now, I'm sure you've heard enough stories to know that it doesn't work that way. But I still remember the letters Focus sent out to homes across America endorsing that idea -- letters endorsed by Dr. Dobson and "homosexuality and gender" specialist John Paulk, who was repeatedly held up as an example of how a gay man can successfully become straight until he was photographed in a gay bar.

Those letters hurt me. They hurt Christian kids all across this nation. Not only did we read them and feel like something was horribly wrong with us; our families and churches read them and trusted what they heard from Focus over what we told them about our own experiences. So many of us -- me included -- were kicked out of our churches and Christian groups simply for admitting that we were gay. And let me tell you, when your whole life is wrapped up in the church, and the Christian community you so love turns its back on you, it can be devastating. I became suicidal. Thankfully, I never followed through on those feelings. I know some who did."

Read More Of This Letter @ Huffington Post

Why I'm Wearing A Poppy This Year

Three days ago I participated in a small gesture which only takes 2 to 3 seconds and which hundreds of thousands - if not millions - of Canadians participate in each year. I placed a few coins in a box, took a red and black poppy from it, and pinned it to the lapel of my coat.

Yesterday while riding the transit system a man in his 50's made a point to thank me for wearing it. Was he a veteran? Was his father? Was he just patriotic? I'll never know. I gave him a kindly nod as we got off the bus.

When you read the title of this blog, perhaps your first question was "Why wouldn't you wear a poppy?"

I haven't worn a poppy on my jacket for a few years now, and there are a few reasons/thoughts/questions that I've had for not doing so:

• Are we glorifying war each November 11th when we pay homage to those who have fought in our country's name? 
• Are war veterans any more heroic than our peacekeepers?
• Has Canada steered away from peacekeeping to fighting in wars?
• Are we teaching our children that those who fight are somehow more honourable?

These and others are loaded questions for sure. This year, however, I have come to a couple of different conclusions. Firstly, I've realized that my all-or-nothing approach to poppy-wearing probably has to do with being bi-polar (the either-or nature of the illness). For several years I chose not to wear one.  If I take a broader, more inclusive approach, I can see that I can honour those who have died for Canada's (and others) freedom as well as being committed to peacekeeping.

I also must realize that the vast majority of people who honour our veterans, and the veterans themselves - of WWII, Korea, Afghanistan, etc), are not glorifying war. They know first-hand that war and strife are hell, and they want peace just as much as I do, if not more.

I continue to have the attitude that we must always work tirelessly for peace, here at home and abroad. That is what Canada is known for. In a column in today's Waterloo Region Record, conflict-intervention trainer Matthew Bailey-Dick talks about the Suez Canal crisis of 1956, when France, Britain, and Israel "lurched toward an all-out war against Egypt over who controlled the Canal." The UN Security Council convened its first emergency session of the General Assembly, acknowledging that it "had failed to maintain international  peace and security."

Canada stepped up to the plate.

"Future prime minister Lester Pearson, then Canada’s minister of external affairs, led the Canadian delegation as the assembly met late into the night of Nov. 3. Based on earlier meetings with other international diplomats, Pearson decided that the UN was prepared for a daring proposal.

In the early hours of Nov. 4, Pearson stood before the general assembly and presented resolution A-3290, which called for the establishment of “an international peace and police force” that could intervene in the Suez conflict, thereby creating space for a political solution.

The General Assembly voted overwhelmingly in favour of Pearson’s resolution, and this set the stage for the United Nations Emergency Force — the UN’s first peacekeeping force, which was deployed in the following days. For his tireless diplomatic efforts, Pearson received Canada’s first Nobel Peace Prize."

So, on this Remembrance Day 2012, I want to honour those who have died for freedom, while remaining committed to the Canadian value of looking for peaceful solutions in global conflicts.

Lest I Forget.

Mark Andrew Alward