We Are The Beloved

"The soul of the soul of the universe is Love." ~ Rumi

When you or I meet someone new, what is the first question that we are asked and often ask in return? "So, what do you do?" As in , what is your job?  For a few years now I have thought that this first question isn't an appropriate one. A more fulfilling and personal answer would come from the question, "What is it that you are passionate about?" Why do I say this?

1. We are not what we "do" for employment.
2. We are not what we do in our spare time.
3. We are not what we can do artistically.
4. We are not what we can do athletically.

It is so very hard to break out of this mentality when we live in a society that places so much value in how we make our money. It is so hard to break out of this mentality when we see athletes breaking records or artists climbing up the Top 40. Then we look at ourselves in the mirror and say, "What the hell have I ever done?"

Instead, a question that needs to be asked by each one of us is "Who am I?" This might bring up a lot of heartache and pain: "I'm a nobody," "I'm a failure," "I've never succeeded at anything and I never will." Most often these are messages that have been within us for a very long time and they've stuck.

But one thing that I have learned (and I admit there are many days when I forget it) is that it is not what we do that defines us, it is who we are. Some people may say that it is the other way around, that "by your fruits you shall know them," and there is some truth to this. But I believe that everything comes back to how we view ourselves and in turn the rest of humanity.

This is what I believe: 

1. You and I are the Beloved of God (insert Divine, Spirit, Father, Mother, Universe in here if you use different language to describe God). 
2. Before we were even born, and helpless, we had been stamped with the mark of Love.
3. There is nothing that can separate us from this love - not a lover or a parent or a friend who told us we were worthless, no act of abuse or bruising word.
4. This love is not based on any feat we must accomplish. Look at those in our society who are severely handicapped and can seeming "do nothing." Does this make them less valuable? Of course not. Each of us is equally loved.
5. This love is not based on religion, economic status, race, sex, sexual orientation, or age.
6. There is nothing that we could do more or less to be recipients of this Love. 

Be easy on yourself. Be kind to your self. Try to take a few moments each day realizing that you are truly, unconditionally loved.

Mark Andrew Nouwen

Sitting With Your Sadness

"Love your sadness. It gives you a chance to be still with the most tender place of your being. Love gives your sadness the energy it needs to move through you, so you can move on. By loving your sadness, you are respecting your truth. And freedom always follows truth." 

~ Danielle Laporte

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

~ Frederick Buechner

I have been sad lately. Actually, I am very often in a sad place; it has been this way for many years. Yes, part of this is depression, and then our (society's) predilection is toward treatment through therapy and/or medication. Those who know me will know that I am a big supporter - and user - of both therapy and medication if a person needs them for a certain time, maybe even a long time. But lately I have been feeling sad and instead of running to music or TV or the internet in an attempt to crowd it out, I've just been sitting here, noticing it. Yes, there can be a destructive sadness or depression, but I think there is a kind of sadness that is not destructive; rather, sadness, like many other emotions, can remind us that we are alive. Loving our sadness, as Danielle Laporte writes, "gives (us) a chance to be still with the most tender place of (our) being." It may be that in the most vulnerable, fragile times in our lives, that we actually are on the brink of something great - a new understanding, a greater ability to love, a connection with the Divine. The difficult part, though, is to actually just sit there. We automatically think there's something wrong if we feel sad. And then we reach out, yelping like a wounded dog, saying to all those around us who will listen, "Pay attention to me, heal my sadness! Why aren't you healing my sadness?" And then we suffocate them.  It would do better for us to go for a leisurely walk on a trail, or put pen to paper, or talk it out with a very close friend who can handle it. Sadness may also be a sign to slow things down a bit and perhaps to take a different turn in your life, especially if you are unhappy with how things currently are for you. Finally, it is natural for us to see a friend who is sad and try to cheer them up, but it is often better to just take their hand and be present.

Blessings,

Mark Andrew Nouwen

Canada: A Government In Serious Decay

I am a 35 year old life-long Canadian. I can remember a time in my youth when I would excitedly travel to political events featuring either  then-current Prime Ministers or other party leaders. And I can remember a time, even though they aren't the party of my first choice currently, when I was proud of the government I had and how we were envied around the world.

That era is not just fading, it is plunging like a runaway train into a canyon. And, my friends, it is time to give a damn.

The last couple of weeks have highlighted a series of bungles, ignorance, and bullying that is almost unprecedented ever since the Conservative Party of Canada first took power in 2006. And Prime Minister Stephen Harper's ability to tightly control the country, not to mention his own party, seems to finally be falling apart.

In a recent case of friendly fire, Conservative MP's such as Michael Chong and Mark Warawa complained to Speaker of the House Andrew Scheer that they were being silenced in the House of Commons because of their controversial views. They argued that, despite their party whip's position, they are elected members and should therefore have the right to speak. Mr. Scheer did the right thing and essentially agreed with them. "The right to seek the floor at any time is the right of each individual Member of Parliament,” he said, “and is not dependent on any other Member of Parliament.”

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and a motion was put forward in the House of Commons by New Democrat MP Megan Leslie which said the following:

"That this House: (a) agree with many Canadians and the International Energy Agency that there is grave concern with the impacts of a 2 degree rise in global average temperatures; (b) condemn the lack of effective action by successive federal governments since 1998 to address emissions and meet our Kyoto commitments; and (c) call on the government to immediately table its federal climate change adaptation plan.

And what were the results? 179 members of the House, mostly Conservative, but also Liberal and, unbelievably Green Party Leader Elizabeth May, voted nay to said motion.

It should be no surprise that the Conservative government is not dedicated to make any headway on the environment portfolio. Conservative Natural Resources Minister Joe Oliver recently called a leading scientist's views "exaggerated" and said he was "crying wolf."

However, the bad news just got exponentially worse for Canada's government with this week's release of the Auditor-General's report by Michael Ferguson.

If there are two things that many Canadians have thought they could trust the Conservative Party with, they are "money" and "keeping Canadians safe." The AG's Report puts both into serious question. Ferguson found that $3.1-billion in money allocated for anti-terror initiatives has simply vanished. $3.1 billion dollars. Ferguson then said that there a search and rescue service that is nearly at the breaking point because of lack of a federal plan. "(Peter) MacKay said that a request for proposals to replace the 45-year-old Buffalo and 20-year-old Hercules airplanes used in search and rescue missions should be issued this year. But work has been ongoing on this file since 2002, leading to suggestions that this is not a priority for the department of National Defence." (The National Post)

Another section of the AG's damning report criticized the Aboriginal Affairs department for failing to co-operate with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission to create a historical record of Indian residential schools. NDP MP Romeo Saganash stood up to note that thousands died in the schools, “including my brother.”

Also, the Auditor General said that "The Public Health Agency has not been leading federal efforts to prevent and control diabetes. Activities remain largely unco-ordinated and their impact is unknown.”

Finally, and astonishingly, it was revealed only days ago that the Conservative government plans on blatantly intruding on collective bargaining within crown corporations such as the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Canada Post, and VIA Rail. Under new legislation, a representative of the government would be at the table, and would have final say on any deals.

This is a government that is used to a control and conquer mentality, however now it is cracking and crumbling.  It is time for Canadians to rise up and say a defiant NO.

We have two years until the next federal election, and it is our job to be as vocal as we possibly can. We deserve better government than we have been getting. I will put my partisan hat on for a moment and say that I believe that the Official Opposition New Democratic Party is most worthy to place our confidence in. Its caucus has hard-working dedicated members, and a seasoned leader who has been very vocal in standing up across from Prime Minister Harper in these recent embarrassing times. Meanwhile, "Justin Trudeau, the new Liberal leader, chose to all but ignore the (Auditor-General's) report, sticking to the increases in tariffs announced in the budget. It represented a missed opportunity for the Liberals." (The National Post)
While the NDP is my choice for good governance, they also have work to do to earn the trust of more voters, particularly in places like Saskatchewan, its birthplace..

In conclusion, these are sad times to be a Canadian reflecting on its government. Canada no longer possesses a government that is the envy of nations. We must change this in 2015.

Mark Andrew Nouwen

What If Heterosexuals Were The Minority?

Roy Orbison, Spring, & Romance

23/04/2013 - 2:14 p.m.
Matter Of Taste Coffee Bar, Kitchener, Ontario

Today would have been Roy Orbison's 77th birthday, so I'm listening to a comprehensive collection of his work as I type this. It is a beautiful spring day here in downtown Kitchener.

Spring is a time, as the cliché says, for new beginnings. It's right of course. More sunlight, warmer temperatures lift us up from our sometimes deep depressions, if even for a few moments. We also undertake spring cleaning. In my case, I am undergoing a move in just a few days, which I'm happy about.

Spring may also be a time to try new things or to get out and meet new people; it's amazing what a coffee shop encounter can do for your spirit. Just this morning an FB friend of mine came in and we had a nice half-hour chat and it brightened my day.

Spring is also a time to be bold and scandalous, to do something that you've wanted to do for a long time but have been too afraid to try. Yes, that sounds like a horoscope or fortune cookie, but I like it anyways. It's a time to take yourself less seriously and open up the windows.

Spring may also be time for new romance, which may mean taking chances (as Celine Dion would say - oh yes, I just referenced Celine Dion). The worst she/he can say is no (actually the worse she can do is slap you in the face, but the hand-mark on your face will subside within a few minutes.) You're never too old for love.

I leave you with some Roy Orbison performing on the Tonight Show with a then up-and-coming artist, k.d. lang. What a duet!

VIDEO: Henri Nouwen: You Are The Beloved

The following is a series of sermons given by Catholic priest and author Henri J.M. Nouwen at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California in 1992, four years before his death. Here he speaks firstly on Being The Beloved, then on Becoming The Beloved, and finally on being Disciples of the Beloved. I have taken on Henri's last name as an indication of how significant his message was and continues to be for me:

I See Your Pain, It Runs Deep

The Suffering Of Self-Exile

by John O'Donohue

excerpt from Eternal Echoes: Exploring Our Hunger To Belong

"Many people sense a yawning emptiness at the centre of their lives. This secretly terrifies them. They become afraid that if they engage the emptiness, they will lose all control over their life and identity. This fear drives them towards permanent flight from any possibility of real self-encounter. They keep conversations always on safe ground. Often they are the humourous figures who constantly joke and will not allow any question through their subtle protection shields. They labour valiantly to be accepted by others, but no-one, not even themselves, ever gets near them. A phalanx of language and movement keeps them hidden. It is as if their every word and gesture strain desperately into the safe middle distance. Yet they long all the while to enter the door of their own hearts but fear has hidden the key. This is a neglected and unattended region of suffering, the secret suffering of the permanently self-exiled. They are always circling within inches of home, yet they seem never to be able to get there. They are somehow forlorn and their presence is dislocated. The suffering here is the exile from true inner belonging. It is the voice of forlorn longing. It is as if a secret limbo has opened in that region between a person's intimate heart and all their actions and connections in the outer world. In the intense whirr of dislocation and fragmentation which assails modern consciousness, this limbo has become ever more extensive. There is a consuming loneliness which separates more and more individuals from each other and from their own inner life.

Post-modern culture is deeply lonely. This loneliness derives in large part from the intense drive to avoid suffering and pain and the repudiation of commitment. People relentlessly attempt to calm their inner turbulence by all manner of therapy and spirituality. They seek refuge in each new programme or method as if it offered final resolution. Yet so many of these programmes have no earth beneath the seductive surface. They can offer no growth, nor enable a person to identify the pain at the root of identity. Such external tamperings never manage to reach or embrace the inner loss which is a natural part of being a human person. Every heart has to manage the emptiness of its own dark. Jung suggested that neurosis was unmet suffering. This dialogue with your inner loss is slow and painful. Yet to avoid or sidestep this necessary pain only brings a slow, seeping sense of loneliness which continues to shadow and haunt your life. The Romanian philosopher E.M. Cioran said: 'Suffering is the cause of consciousness. (Dostoevsky) Men belong to two categories: those who have understood this, and the others.'"