Getting Knocked Off Course

Today I am thinking of the times when we get knocked off course; I mean, really hit hard and we can't seem to find our way onto the path again. It could happen due to the loss of a job, a serious illness, after a mate cheats on you. All of a sudden - BOOM - it happens.  Or perhaps you are like many people and you feel like you've been wandering in the desert for several years and you're not sure how to get out of it.

None of us particularly enjoy these times, which can be characterized by depression, loss of appetite, increase in appetite, anxiety, lack of interest in things we once enjoyed, the loss of important people in our lives. Songs or books that used to help don't seem to help anymore.

Our initial response to such times is often to find a way out of it. We try friends, spiritual activities, talk to a therapist or pastor (which can sometimes be very helpful).  But what if rather than getting over our pain as quickly as possible, we are meant to feel our pain and walk through the desert rather than take a detour.  We live in a culture where happiness is sought after more than almost anything. And it stands that sadness or darkness is frowned upon.  Often navigating these dark periods with a good friend or good therapist is a good idea, especially if one is particularly depressed.  But even then the goal should not necessarily be to take the depression away, but to understand it.

Dark times may be needed in our lives to teach us important lessons, as hard as they are. Sure, it would be nice to know where we were going to end up, but that defeats the purpose of the journey. During this time you may have to take time off work, or friends, or family members. They may not understand, but this is a growth-time for you.  Be selfish.

The only encouragement I can give to you is that you will survive.

You may look almost unrecognizable when you come through the other side, but you will be more fully yourself.

The Emerging Church & Six Flags Over Jesus

The following is a sermon by Rev. Roger Ray of Community Christian Church of Springfield, Missouri.

Your Heart Is Greater Than Your Wounds

The following is an entry from Henri Nouwen's journal "The Inner Voice of Love." I came across these words at the perfect time today. I will comment afterwards.

Live Your Wounds Through

You have been wounded in many ways. The more you open yourself to being healed, the more you will discover how deep your wounds are. You will be tempted to become discouraged, because under every wound you uncover you will find others. Your search for true healing will be a suffering search. Many tears still need to be shed.

But do not be afraid. The simple fact that you are more aware of your wounds shows that you have sufficient strength to face them.

The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking them through. It is better to cry than to worry, better to feel your wounds deeply than to understand them, better to let them enter into your silence than to talk about them. The choice you face constantly is whether you are taking your hurts to your head or to your heart. In your head you can analyze them, find their causes and consequences, and coin words to speak and write about them. But no final healing is likely to come from that source. You need to let your wounds go down into your heart. Then you can live them through and discover that they will not destroy you. Your heart is greater than your wounds. 

Understanding your wounds can only be healing when that understanding is put at the service of your heart. Going to your heart with your wounds is not easy; it demands letting go of many questions. You want to know "Why was I wounded? When? How? By whom?" You believe that the answers to these questions will bring relief. But at best they only offer you a little distance from your pain. You have to let go of the need to stay in control of your pain and trust in the healing power of your heart. There your hurts can find a safe place to be received, and once they have been received, they lose their power to inflict damage and become fruitful soil for new life.

Think of each wound as you would of a child who has been hurt by a friend. As long as that child is ranting and raving, trying to get back at the friend, one wound leads to another. But when the child can experience the consoling embrace of a parent, she or he can live through the pain, return to the friend, forgive, and build up a new relationship. Be gentle with yourself, and let your heart be your loving parent as you live your wounds through. 

Henri J.M. Nouwen was a Catholic priest who taught at several theological institutes and universities in his home country of the Netherlands and in the United States. He shared the final years of his life with people with mental and physical disabilities at the L'Arche Daybreak Community in Toronto, Canada. He died in 1996. This particular excerpt comes from a collection of his journals, "The Inner Voice of Love."

I type Nouwen's words into this blog as I sit in a comfy chair inside a coffee shop in downtown Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, the city in which I live.  It has not been the best of days; typically I wake up with a lot of anxiety, much of which is left-over from wounds which I've carried for decades.

My first instinct is to think my problems through as if they were scientific problems. There's only one problem with this; my mind doesn't work all that well these days as I suffer from chronic to major depression as well as anxiety disorders. So instead of helping me, taking my wounds to my head to think them through only causes more harm.

I agree with Nouwen that what I must do is give all of those mind-questions to God, who resides deep within my heart. This is not easy to do when you've grown into a pattern of worrying or when there are distractions everywhere.  But it turns out that concentrating on my pain and my wounds only irritates them further. I must become the trapeze artist who trusts that there is a net underneath me that will carry me, if only I will focus on the immediate task at hand.  There really is something to all of this Eckhart Tolle-being-present stuff.

God, or whatever you may call him/her - Mother, Father, Spirit, Inner Voice, The Universe - knows our wounds thoroughly and it is to her we must turn if we are ever to receive healing.

Not Dying To Know About The Afterlife

This past week my mother and I got to talking about death and funerals, and I started mentioning certain things that I would want at my funeral. She advised me to write it all down, so this afternoon I took the time to type out my funeral plans; the pallbearers, officiants, all of it.  As I said to my friends, it's an exercise that's one part morbid and three parts narcissism. But heck, I enjoyed it!

When it comes to the afterlife, I used to have it all figured out. Because I blurted out a sentence as a 7 year old saying that I accepted Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Saviour, I'd be going to heaven. That's all it took.  And what did heaven look like? I took certain parts of the Bible, and then added in some very popular but non-Biblical ideas.  There would be streets of gold, everyone would have a mansion, there would be choirs, there would be no crying there.  Then I added in the widely-held belief that I'd see all my loved ones who had died before me and we'd all be happy.  It's a nice thought, but I don't think that we find that in the Bible.  It's also unclear as to if one goes to the afterlife immediately after death. There is wide-spread belief that that is the case, and it is preached perhaps to soften the blow of death. But one could interpret the Bible as saying that we are instead raised at a later date.

Ask me what I believe about the afterlife now, and it's much simpler. First of all I say "I don't know," and then I follow that up with, "I believe that I came from Love, I live in Love, and one day I will die into Love."  Anything else is mere conjecture to me.

I don't think that we should spend much time thinking about the afterlife. One thing that we are learning as humans in 2012 is that "being present" is key to lowering the avalanche of stress that we are often faced with. We should not be preoccupied with what happens when we take our last earthly breath. Indeed, we should not be worried about tomorrow, because as a wise man once said "Tomorrow will worry about itself."  All I should worry about is today, and I shouldn't even worry about it; I should enjoy it.

I am here.

I am here at a coffee shop.

I am here at a coffee shop enjoying my double-creamed, double-sugared coffee.

I am sitting in a comfortable booth with nice padding.

I just thoroughly enjoyed a jazzed up version of Lesley Gore's It's My Party that was playing over the sound system.

I have the opportunity to write and to freely share my thoughts on the Internet.

I will do my best to enjoy today. I am not dying to know about the afterlife.

Isn't It Ironic, Don't You Think?

On Not Worrying About The Future

"What matters is living our lives in the power of love and not worrying too much about the results. In doing this, the means become part of the end. Hence we lose the sense of helplessness and futility in the face of the world's crushing problems. We also lose the craving for success, always focusing on the goal to the exclusion of the way of getting there. We must literally not take too much thought for the morrow but throw ourselves wholeheartedly into the present. That is the beauty of the way of love; it cannot be planned and its end cannot be foretold." ~ Wolf Mendl, Quaker author, 1974.

Creedless Religion: Work Out Your Own Beliefs

The Unitarian Chalice

It is always interesting and sometimes perplexing to come across religions that readily admit that they hold no creed. It seems so strange because when people think of religion, they still often think of a set of rules or beliefs that one must believe in and live by in order to be "saved." (And such creeds are often the reason that people have no time for religion).

I have been a member of two religions or spiritual movements that do not have set creeds, Unity, and currently Unitarianism. Instead, each has sets of principles which members affirm, but congregants are free to disagree when it comes to theology, with no threat of excommunication.

I have also attended several meetings of the local Religious Society of Friends, more popularly known as Quakers. The following is from the publication North Pacific Yearly Meeting Faith and Practice, 1984:

"For many unfamiliar with Quakers, the way we speak of our faith and the diversity of belief found among us may be perplexing. Even those who have been among Friends for a while may find it challenging to sort out our theology. This difficulty arises in part from the fact that the Society of Friends is not a single, homogeneous group but a large spiritual family with several branches that have evolved in different directions over the past three centuries. Another part of the challenge in understanding Quaker faith derives from our attitude towards creeds or other formal statements of faith. Friends do not make a written creedal statement the test of faith or the measure of suitability for membership.

The lack of a creed has sometimes led to the misconception that Friends do not have beliefs or that one can believe anything and be a Friend.  However, most Quakers take the absence of a creed as an invitation and encouragement to exercise an extra measure of personal responsibility for the articulation of faith. Rather than rely on priests or professional theologians, each believer is encouraged to take seriously the personal disciplines associated with spiritual growth. Out of lives of reflection, prayer, faithfulness, and service flow the statements of belief, both in word and in deed, which belong to Friends."

Having a creed that we can recite (such as the Nicene Creed) can be very meaningful for many people, I acknowledge that. However, I prefer these more "fluid" religions, which leaves more of a responsibility on the individual and makes people, including myself, ask, "How am I living my life lately? I know I'm in no threat from any church or religious organization, or God for that matter, so what do I do now?"  As I recently read somewhere, "Religion is what you do on Monday through Saturday, not just on Sundays."  I think that personal practices and disciplines such as reflection and prayer, spiritual reading and writing are important, and then I must take what I have learned and go into the world and act differently. In a world of injustice, I seek justice. In a world that focuses on the wealthy, I focus on the poor. In a world that demands that my needs are met yesterday, I instead learn patience. It excites me to see religions that realize and embrace the evolution of their institutions.

I'll end off with sharing the 7 Principles of the Canadian Unitarian Council:

We, the member congregations of the Canadian Unitarian Council, covenant to affirm and promote:

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
• Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations;
• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
• A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
• The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
• The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Mark Andrew Nouwen