To those who have lost their father during the last year and are missing him terribly, may you find peace in the love of those surrounding you.
To those who always had a close relationship with their fathers and whose loss still stings after so many years, may you be comforted by a lifetime of happy memories of him.
And for those of us who had or have fathers who were never really Dads,
For those who have dreaded this day for as long as we can remember,
For those who are reminded every year of what should have been, what could have been but hasn't.
For those of us who were used, abused, or neglected and for whom fatherhood meant fear and disappointment.
For those of us who have had to say goodbye to our fathers while they are still alive,
May we find strength in the knowledge that we knew when to take care of ourselves and say enough is enough.
May we take pride in the men and women we are becoming despite a huge hole in our lives.
May we take joy in the friends and other family members that bring so much joy and meaning to our lives.
Take time to mourn, cry many rivers, yell 'til you're hoarse. Grieve the love that you should have received.
And then walk on, for you are still standing and have much to be proud of.
I offer this prayer on a Father's Day mourning.
Mark Andrew Nouwen
3 comments:
Great post as always Mark. You and I are so fortunate to have found wonderful friends who are GOOD people and fill the roles of mother/father way better than we ever could have dreamed. Our past was our biggest blessing-because of it we've moved on, taken responsibility for our own lives, and live with integrity, respect and love. Happy Father's day!
Hi Trish, Thanks for the comment. I hope you've had a GREAT weekend. I personally can't say I've had someone to fill the role of father in my life like some people have, but I AM thankful for the many friends and family - YOU are a big part of this - who love me unconditionally and without ceasing; it means the world to me. I love you.
Beautifully written. A wonderful articulation not only of the loss so many of us experienced growing up, but of the painful reminder That Father's Day can be. It gives permission for it to sting even still, and gives dignity to all those who mourn, without invalidating the positive experience the lucky ones got to have with lovingly present dads. I'm guessing you give good "Dad" energy to many younger people. You have not only stopped the cycle of harm, you are bringing wise and kind male energy to all those who meet you. carry on being awesome.
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