What Day Is It Again? Another Week In Isolation

At the beginning of this very unusual time of COVID-19 isolation and social distancing, I was pretty damn happy with myself. What's this? I'd have to spend time alone? Hell, I can do that! 41 years of being (for the most part) single had prepared me well. Filling my days wouldn't be difficult at all. And for about 2 weeks, maybe 3, I was correct. I was pretty pleased with myself, deftly including a little journaling here, a little reading there. I was perhaps most impressed with how quickly I seemed to pick up a dedicated mindfulness meditation practice. "This shit's not that hard at all!" I thought to myself. Just call me the next Thich Nhat Hanh or Jon Kabat-Zinn. As far as keeping in touch with people, I was on that, too! I quickly switched my counseling appointments to online visits, and I became a self-anointed master of Zoom.

There's just one problem. By week 4, all of it had begun to wear thin. It's true that a rather big part of me is an introvert, but this is starting to get ridiculous. You see, I'm a person who likes being alone - but while around other people! This means taking trips to local cafe's or movie theaters by myself, settling into a crowd, knowing that while I am by myself, I have the comfort of knowing I'm not alone. This means attending a faith community on Sundays, getting my people-y fix during coffee hour, knowing that I can hop on a bus when I've had enough. It also means getting together with my core group of friends and being able to give and receive hugs when needed.

I realize that I don't have a whole lot to boo-hoo about when compared with health workers or others on the front lines, or grocery store workers or Beer Store employees who have to handle the spit-covered cans and bottles that are returned to them, but my reality is still my reality, and I think it's okay to bitch and to sometimes mourn the loss of our normal way of life.

One day, hopefully in the not too distant future, I'll be back to giving my long hugs to friends and family (and watch out, I might not let go!) For now, though, having a routine is quite important, as tedious as it may be to journal/read/meditate/go for walks every day. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I hope that you're managing as best as you can through all of this. I am just a phone or video call away.

mark-andrew