I Get Along Without You Very Well. Of Course I Do.

I get along without you very well, of course I do.

I never think of that night back in college when I held you for hours in complete silence, when we just stared into each others eyes. I don't remember that they were the most intimate moments of my life. Of course I don't. I don't remember the disappointing end when I ended things because I thought a supernatural deity was jealous of my love for you.

I never think of that New Years Eve when I kissed you for the first time, a first for me. I don't remember that your dog ate all my Christmas chocolates, or how you dumped me two days later.

I get along without you very well, of course I do.

I never think of that day walking along the beach in my hometown when you decided I truly needed to learn how to kiss, or how great of a damn kisser you really were. I don't remember a tumultuous end.

I never think of what could have been with you, but wasn't because I was too scared.

I get along without you very well, of course I do.

I never think of just how goddamn drop-dead gorgeous you were or how I fell for you hard. I don't remember that your Mom couldn't stand that we were together because I wasn't of the same faith as you. I can hardly recollect that sexier-than-all-hell night when we grabbed a bottle of wine and lit those candles and how wickedly perfect it was as we made out to Nina Simone's "Nearer Blessed Lord." Of course I don't remember riding away from you on a train on another continent after things ended on the vacation from hell.

And I never think of you, the one who things seemed so synchronous with from almost the beginning, or the sheepish crush I had on you before we even started. I don't remember you driving away.

I get along without you very well.

Of course I do.

Mark Nouwen