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| Is it possible that religious belief is toxic for some people? |
Waterloo, ON
Soundtrack: Martina McBride - Greatest Hits
AC/DC - Back In Black
Good Evening. The music is loud, and I'm tempted to line dance, but I'll refrain.
Sunday School and services on Sunday mornings, Bible studies on Wednesday nights, youth group activities on Friday nights. Christian student clubs at elementary and secondary schools, and three years of Bible college to boot. And that's not counting the thousands of hours spent reading religious books, watching Christian movies, and listening to Christian music, as well as having countless conversations about God/religion/faith
Is it possible to overdose on God? I say that it is. I have a hard time reading posts about God or Christianity when they come across my Facebook feed. They're everywhere, and I get that because many of my FB friends are Christians. There are prayers, prophesies, declarations, and of course the worst ever - the posts that say "share this or you're denying God."
There was a meme or post that I stumbled upon a few weeks ago that simply asked, "What food from your childhood were you forced to eat that you just can't stomach today?" For some it was creamed corn (eww), for others it might be porridge or liver and onions.
You can see where I'm going with this. "Mark Andrew, were you forced during your childhood to believe in Jesus/God?" Let me say this. I believe that my parents were doing what they truly thought best for me by having Christianity be such a huge part of my life. It was what they had been taught, and what their parents and grandparents had been taught. However, let's think about this for a moment. When you're faced with a belief system that basically says, "Believe in Jesus/God or else you're going to a place of eternal torment called Hell," doesn't that sound like a forced decision to have to make?
Almost everything was God this, Jesus that when I was growing up. There was no explanation of other faith systems so that I could explore them for myself and decide whether I believed in one of them or not. It was all Jesus all the time. So much so that it's hard for me to stomach these days. And it's too bad, because the person of Jesus sounds like a pretty kick-ass, turning tables, revolutionary kind of guy.
I also believe that, for some - not all - religious belief can be a mental illness, or that mental illness can be exacerbated by religion. For instance, incessant prayer over perceived sins or shortcomings can not only reach the border of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, it can jump over the line. It's called religious scrupulosity.
Common Scrupulosity OCD obsessions include:
- Fear of living a life of sin or one that God wouldn’t approve of.
- Fear of doing something that doesn’t align with your moral or ethical standards.
- Constantly wondering if you’re praying enough or the right way.
Common Scrupulosity Compulsions include:
Excessive prayer.
Saying the same prayer over and over again until a state of certainty has been achieved. You feel as if God would approve of the amount.
Reassurance.
Seeking constant reassurance from God.
Excessive reflection.
Making sure that you haven’t said something God would blasphemous.
Going to church or temple.
Constant visits to places of worship.
Confession.
Excessive confessions to a priest, rabbi, other clergy or even a significant other.
Thoughts of unholiness.
Having natural associations that you think are unholy and offensive to God.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I suffered from religious scrupulosity for about 21 years or so. I already struggled with OCD in other areas of my life, like checking and washing rituals, and this constant God-talk provided me with something else to be obsessed with and utterly consumed with. It's awful to live under the threat of "believe this or else." Some would say that if I had just trusted God's grace that I wouldn't have such problems, but the thing about being a fundamentalist Christian, I found, was that not only were you supposed to say the magic words ("I confess I am a sinner and I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.") but that you then had to make sure to be a good Christian, whatever that meant. It was my duty to pray regularly, read Scripture daily, and adhere to a list of do's and don't's that was seemingly endless.
Is it possible that religious belief is toxic for some people like myself?
Is it possible to overdose on God?
What do you think?
For more information and stories of people who have lived where religion blends into mental illness, check out this site.
Mark Andrew
